This past wekeend we went to Waycross for Tad & his dad (David) to finish the remolding of Tad's grandparent's (BeBe & Papa) bathroom. It took way longer than they expected and this was the second visit to finish the work they started. It took so long because back in the 50's many people built their own homes, which was the case with original owners of their house. Nothing was level, the walls weren't straight and they were made of concrete. My grandfather built the house he and my grandmother lived in. I just think that is so cool. I've always loved the 50's & 60's. I've been fascinated ever since I read the Feminine Mystic about culture then.
I brought a book along with me on the trip and I'm almost done with it. I highly recommend it. Its called The Girls Who Went Away - The hidden history of women who surrendered children for apodtion in the decades before Roe vs Wade. It is so amazing. It basically just stories of these women, well girls actually, who became preganant out of wedlock in the 50's & 60's whose parents sent them to "maternity homes" to have their babies and then gave the babies up for adoption. Most of the time the parents made some ridiculous story up about the girls having to leave to take care of a distant relative or falling ill. But these stories are then interlaced with the history and statistics of the life and culture then. Its so scary how the fear back then affected society so dramatically. Fear of nuclear war, fear that the newly elevated socio-economic status most people found themsleves in (compared with their parents) caused people and familes to conform at all costs. Its even scary how the media perpetuated this fear and how TV and the media form the picture of "normal" that everyone was trying to obtain. It really is a window into how and why our grandparents and parents act the way they do.
Did you know that 1.5 million babies were given up for adoption during these 2 decades? During these decades the percentage of people married was the highest it had ever and has ever been since, the average age of newlyweds was the lowest it had been since the late 1800's and because obtaining the perfect family was so vital to a person's success (and hope of keeping that success) the highest percentage of adoptions ever took place.
These girls stories are so sad. They were so ignorant. Most of them has no sex education at all (which is why there were 1.5 million unplanned pregancies), they had no idea how you got pregnant and of those that did know NONE of the women in this book were told how the baby came out! When it was time for delivery they were simply dropped off at a hospital by themsleves and were left alone to labor in a hallway or a dark room by themselves (they couldn't be in the same places as the married mothers). They had no idea what was happening to their bodies. It is heartwrenching what happened to them.
Reading books like this really makes me appreciate my children more. And also, helps me see how important self esteem is to my girls and the perception they have of themselves. It also is kind of scary to see our culture, media and society beginning to embrace a new kind of fear. It makes me wonder what book my grandchildren will be reading - concerning the effects our current culture is having on family life. It just makes you wonder...
4 comments:
these are some good thoughts. especially about how fear controls and ultimately leads to a sort of conformity.
i once heard this:
"fear of the unknown makes a great enemy."
when we don't know or understand things. or when things don't fit into our predefined boxes and definitions, it's really easy to be fearful. perhaps even natural. but its what we do with that fear that will determine our history. do we turn the fear of the unknown or the unknown in general into an enemy? or do we confidentally and adventrously approach it with a humble posture, willing to learn?
that is what characterizes so much of that older generation. but one can hardly blame them with the rate of change that they have witnessed in their life. it can be quite disorienting. but i am thankful for those who did not let that fear cripple them but moved forward into the midst of it. challenging it. calling it out.
anybody remember the scene from return of the king when aragon, gimli, and legolas walk through that really scary tunnel. everybody's scared. but aragon finally just walks right up and in.
http://www.jokaroo.com/funnyvideos/colbert_interviews_congressman.html
Hey Josh - I saw that episode last week isn't it hilarious! That is a part in his 434 part series "Better Know a District". It's my favorite bit!! I LOVE STEPHEN COLBERT!!
Hey, I tried to delete one of the comments you posted twice, now it looks like I had to "monitor" your comment. SO just for the record, it was a duplicate of your first comment. Sorry.
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